Dialogue
Tags: demanded, sneered, said, and asked.
To tag or not to tag is the question of the day.
By now most know what a dialogue tag is. For those
of you who don’t, a dialogue tag is a clause of two or more words showing who
is speaking.
Examples: Tim said. John asked.
Did you notice in my example I chose said and asked?
My reason is in writing, they are considered invisible. Readers tend to not
notice them—unless used too much.
Some don’t like to use only said and asked,
they prefer to change it up, but is this wise?
Example: “Don’t drop the ball,” Tim laughed.
“Please come with me. I don’t want to go by myself,”
Cynthia begged.
“You’re so cute,” Sandy smiled happily.
So, what is wrong with my examples? First, one can’t
laugh dialogue. Try it, it doesn’t work. Same goes for smile. Second, they are
telling. The writer—me—is telling you—the reader—how the dialogue was spoken.
Let’s use the same examples but show how the
dialogue was spoken.
Tim doubled over, trying to hold back his laughter.
“Don’t drop the ball.”
Cynthia gripped Carol’s hand. “Please come with me?
I don’t want to go by myself.”
Sandy smiled and shuffled her feet. “You’re so
cute.”
By using action beats, not only did I show more of
the emotions, I did away with the dialogue tags. But like with dialogue tags,
don’t overdo it with beats. Mix it up.
Here’s an example of a scene with over used dialogue
tags.
“Are you coming over to my house tonight?” Trevor
asked.
“I’m not sure. My mom’s still pissed at me about the
D I got on my science test,” Jason said.
“I told you to study for it,” Trevor muttered.
“I know, and I did . . . sort of,” Jason whispered.
Okay, so the dialogue tags in my example show how
too many can stop the flow. Since there are only two speaking, let’s try
without them. I will start the scene by using one.
“Are you coming to my house tonight?” Trevor asked
Jason.
“I’m not sure. My mom’s still pissed at me about the
D I got on my science test.”
“I told you to study for it.”
“I know, and I did . . . sort of.”
Hmmm, better, but it reads flat and boring. Let’s
try adding action beats.
Trevor closed his locker and glanced at Jason. “Are
you coming to my house tonight?”
“I’m not sure. My mom’s still pissed at me about the
D I got on my science test.” Jason scrolled through the list of songs on his
IPod.
Trevor sighed and slung the strap of his backpack
over his shoulder. “I told you to study for it.”
“I did . . . sort of.”
In my example I used beats to fill the scene out
more. Also, rarely do people just stand there doing nothing while talking. Add
some movement. I could have taken this one step further and added internal
dialogue for the POV character—Trevor—but that is a lesson for another day.
What if you are writing a scene with more than two
characters? The same rules apply; use a mixture of action beats with dialogue
tags.
Example: Cynthia reached across the sticky café
table and grabbed Carol’s hands. “Please come with me? I don’t want to go by
myself.”
“I can’t. I have plans,” Carol said.
Sarah took a sip of her coffee and then set it down.
Her gaze remained glued to Carol’s face. “And what exactly are your plans? Care
to share?”
Glancing away, Carol’s face turned red. “Not
really.”
So to sum up, use dialogue tags sparingly, and try
to stick with said or asked. They are considered invisible. Use action beats to
show who is speaking, to fill out a scene, and show how the dialogue is spoken
without having to tell. IE: He said angrily. She said happily.
Remember, dialogue cannot be laughed, smiled, or
begged. Use a mixture of tags and beats when more than two are speaking.
